I Made my Choices- Where do I go from here?

An Amazing Film!

I've picked my critical approach (shame theory) and my film (Black Panther), but I'm not sure how to get going with this.  
From what the Critical Model Packet says about shame theory, it seems that it could work pretty good.  In the movie, once T'challa learns what happened to his uncle, he feels shame because of what his father did to him.  Also, it looks like Killmonger is totally motivated by shame from many sources (father's death, history of slavery, Wakanda's failure to help end racism), but his anger makes him want to rule the world.  I can see already that this is going to take a lot of thought, once I know what to do next.

A few relevant articles:

‘Black Panther’ is on the hunt for a best picture Oscar, no matter what happens with the ‘popular film’ prize

https://www.postbulletin.com/entertainment/black-panther-is-on-the-hunt-for-a-best-picture/article_e607bdfc-543f-5eb7-8348-df1de330877f.html

Black Men: Stigma, Status and Expectations   https://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2012/03/12/young-black-and-male-in-america/black-men-stigma-status-and-expectations

Slaves of History

https://aeon.co/essays/how-descendants-of-african-slaves-are-stigmatised-for-life

  

What am I trying to do here?

I'm trying to meet the English 102 requirement this semester, and this is my research blog.  The instructor says that if I follow the prompts for the blog, it will help me with all of the projects for the class.  I sure hope so.  I think that I write okay, but at my high school we didn't have to write any long papers, so I don't know if I should be worried about that.  Anyway, I'm going to be writing my research paper on a film.

The Monster of His Childhood

The reading I picked this week is an excerpt from Rick Bragg's book "All Over But the Shoutin'."  I've been trying to avoid reading or watching depressing stuff for a while now, really ever since my mom died, but the title seemed to jump out at me, so I went with it.  It was sad.  There's something awful about true stories that center on a terrible parent.  Bragg's father is dying, and he's just the same to his son as he ever was.  Bragg wants to resolve all the hurts from his childhood, but, as he's trying to come up with a way to do that, he gradually realizes that it's not going to happen.  
When my mom was dying, she was in hospice care at home.  We were all taking care of her, which was beautiful (I know that sounds strange, but it was beautiful in a lot of ways, mainly because she was a very good parent, definitely NOT the monster of our childhoods, and we felt as though we were doing something almost . . . holy with her--I can't think of a better way to put it) and horrible at the same time.  After three or four days, she stopped talking because of the pain meds, but she was still pretty alert and reacted to what we said to her.  I think we all managed to say everything we needed to say before she reached the point where she couldn't take it in.  But, like Rick Bragg, I have issues that I know I will never get rid of unless I let it go, and again like him, I'm reluctant to let go, but in my case, it's because what I'd be letting go is valuable to me but so complicated and messed up that it would kind of be like trying to cut it out of myself.  If that makes any sense. 
Maybe you can see why I've been avoiding these stories. 

Related articles

• Woman misses death of mother after being removed from United flight (telegraph.co.uk)

The First Thing I Remember

Catharina as a child, by Frans Hals.
 In her hand she holds a silver rattle
 with bells, a precious status
 symbol. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For my narrative paper, I decided to write about the first thing I remember (at least, I think it's the first thing).  I could have picked a lot of other memories, but this one has stuck with me, and I thought it was about time I figured out why it has.  Here goes.
I am about 4 years old.  I am waking up on the old sofa in my grandmother's living room at her old house in Joliet.  My grandmother comes in and helps me put on my socks.  And that's it, the whole thing.  
When I started thinking about it this time, I realized I had some questions.  First of all, why was I alone?  Usually, when I stayed at Grandma's house, at least my sister Rebbie was there, too, if not one of my brothers or our oldest sister, Marie.  I'm guessing that my mother was in the hospital again (she had kidney disease), and my dad took me to Joliet because it was summer and he didn't want Marie, who is 10 years older than I am, to have to deal with all 4 younger kids.  I also guess that my brother Peter, who is the second oldest went to our other grandparents in Chicago, because he and Marie were fighting all the time.
My other questions had to do with my grandmother, and after I spent some time brainstorming about her, I realized that she is the reason I still remember this.  I haven't quite gotten to a thesis yet, but I will.

Related articles

• Belgium's baby box has record year (euronews.com)
• A woman went into labour at a grocery store - and the butcher helped deliver it (nationalpost.com)

Could I live in a dumpster?

Yes, this is inside a dumpster.
Dumpsterproject.org

Well, maybe, if I had to do that, but I sure wouldn't choose to:  I'm claustrophobic, badly enough that being in even a medium-sized room without an openable window makes my heart start to pound.  "Living Simply in a Dumpster" was published in the Atlantic some time ago, and it surprised me, just by not being about poverty.  By James Hamber, it's a profile of Jeff Wilson, a university professor who had been living in a dumpster by choice for some time when the piece was written.  More power to him, I say.  He teaches environmental science, and he puts his money where his mouth is.  I'm sort of wondering how much money he saved when he was living in the dumpster.  I'm imagining it--you can't have much, because there's no place to keep it.  So, clothing, just as one example.  If you could only have, say, four outfits, what would they be?  And pajamas count as one.  Ouch. 

Related articles

• Professors Suggest 'Baby Bonds' Could Fix Widening Inequality In The U.S. (gpbnews.org)
• We've never seen an East Coast winter storm intensify as fast as the 'bomb cyclone' (mashable.com)
• Lawyer for Michigan DHHS director suggests clash between Flint water researchers (mlive.com)
• How 30 minutes of facial exercise a day can make women look three years younger (telegraph.co.uk)  Don't know why Zemanta considers this a related article.

I Wrote This!

Sorry, Groot.  Your scene was too short.

Yeah, I'm almost finished revising my film analysis, and I didn't post on any of the prompts that would explain what I did in prewriting and drafting and why I did it and what problems I had.  Now it seems pointless to go back and respond to the prompts, so I'm going to summarize it all.
As I mentioned before, I was interested in father-son relationships in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.  That meant that my critical approach was men's studies, but the page on that in the packet we were given didn't really get into this kind of a relationship.  I talked to the prof, and she said to look at the first thing on the sheet, which was "What does this film say a man can or should be?"  Armed with that, I watched the scene I had chosen to ask that question.  
I immediately realized that I needed a new scene.
to be continued 

Related articles

• Esoteric Hollywood: Truman Show & Groundhog Day Deciphered (jaysanalysis.com)
• Police: Father kills himself moments after son's accidental shooting (foxnews.com)
• Body recovered after trench collapses on father and son (mlive.com)
• 'Honest Trailers' creator Andy Signore fired after sexual abuse allegations (businessinsider.com)
• 'Ragnarok' is the 'Thor' comedy we've always wanted (mashable.com)

note:  All the father and son articles Zemanta listed were about death!  Not what I was looking for.

What Happened to Me?

I remember this.
(Photo credit Wikipedia)

I have a good memory; I remember birthdays, phone numbers, addresses, passwords, even the Bill of Rights.  But now it seems like I can't remember to blog.  I have no excuse.  I just forgot and kept forgetting. 
I've had a bad cold the last couple of days (no excuse--the last time I posted was in September!), and I finished all of my homework except for the final revision of my film analysis, which is almost done.  I checked the course schedule to make sure I had the right due date, and I did, but there it was in the "Writing Due" column:  blog.  In fact, every week's entry ends with "blog."  It's as if my eyes just refused to read it.  What this means is that now, when I should have at least 20 posts, I have only 7.
I don't know why I'm feeling so compelled to post this, probably nobody cares.  I just don't want people thinking I decided not to post.
I'll be back in a few minutes.
I mean it.

Related articles

• Civics Education Shouldn't Put Students to Sleep (edweek.org)
• Gun control is about human rights - not political opportunism (dailytrojan.com)
• Colleges Are an 'Echo Chamber of Political Correctness.' Read Jeff Sessions' Speech on Campus Free Speech (time.com)

One from column A, one from column B

We got our new assignment, along with a 7-page handout we will need for it.  This project is a "critical analysis," which apparently means that we need a critical approach (not quite clear on this yet) to analyze a scene from a film.  So I have to decide on a film and an approach, and it looks kind of tricky.  The films are listed in six approach categories, Myth Criticism, Women's Studies, Men's Studies, Disability Studies, Shame Theory, and Genre Criticism.  I'm not sure yet, but I think I want to try Men's Studies.  I've seen most of the films listed, so I've got plenty of choice.  The one problem I see is that I need to make up my mind asap, or I'll be wasting time I might need.  Right now, I'm leaning toward Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, because 1. the plot is partly about a father-son relationship (one of the things Men's Studies is interested in), although I may not stick with that aspect of the film; and 2. I already bought the DVD and have watched it several times. 
I wanted the DVD because it's a movie that I know I'll want to watch every so often, if only to see Baby Groot's dance in the first fight scene to get a cute fix.  
That's all for now.

Related articles

• Teen Groot will steal every 'Avengers: Infinity War' scene he's in, just watch
• Hawkeye to Drop His Alter Ego and Adopt New Identity in 'Avengers 4'
• Watch: Ride Footage from Disneyland's 'Guardians of the Galaxy - Monsters After Dark'
• James Gunn Addresses Groot's Age in Avengers: Infinity War

I can't stand the suspense

Lee Child, British thriller
 writer accepting
 Barry Award.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You might think I've been goofing off, since I haven't posted in a while, but you would be wrong.  I turned my paper in on time (even remembered to upload it to Blackboard), but I forgot to post during that time.  Sue me.  Anyway, after my second class I asked the prof if I could write about other things I was reading, and she said that was fine, even though it probably wouldn't help with my other projects.   So that's what I'm doing today, but I'm going to split it up into several posts.  
I've been reading one of Lee Child's Jack Reacher books, Make Me, which is going really fast.  He always makes you wait to find out what's really going on, almost until you can't stand it (when I tell you that I even missed a couple of events on Marvel Puzzle Quest--without noticing!-- because I was reading, you can see how compelling it is), and I haven't been able to stop until now.  In fact, I only stopped because my hand cramped up from holding the Nook; I think I was gripping too hard, most likely from the suspense.
continued in next post

Related articles

• Retro Dance Club Opens in Chelsea
• NJ lawmaker to billionaires: Stop parking yachts in front of Statue of Liberty
• When Stephen King met Lee Child: Make Me, Red Sox, and understanding America
• Lee Child's 'Make Me' tops U.S. best sellers list
• Excerpt from Lee Child's Make Me
• Review--Make Me

And then I wrote . . . and wrote, and wrote . . .

Working on my draft again-- I've been putting in some time every day on it (advice from the prof).  I thought it couldn't hurt to try it, and it hasn't been hard to find 10 or 15 minutes here and there to work on it.  The story I chose to tell is about how my dad got my older sister Rebbi and me ready to go see our first Broadway show: Wicked.  Mom and Dad had already seen it, and I think they were thinking that we would be able to understand it (at ages 6 and 8) with a little help.
Anyway, I remember the preparations better than actually going to the show.  We knew The Wizard of Oz, of course, so Dad didn't have to explain that.  He made character flashcards (I think he invented these) and used them to tell the story, playing the songs from the cd as he went.  Really, he put on a show of his own, and we loved it.  
Today I'm working on my conclusion.  Telling the story went okay.  We'll see how it goes.

More Research? Say it ain't so!

Star wars me (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I've been trying to get my research paper draft going, but right away I ran into a snag-- I need support for my very first point, and I can't find it in any of the sources I have.  Yup.  Back to the library.  At least I know exactly what I'm looking for this time, so it shouldn't take long.  I'll start searching as soon as I finish this post.  
I shouldn't complain.  I already wasted an hour today looking at my Facebook notifications.  Some of the Star Wars fans are objecting to my argument that Kylo Ren is immature, but I had two comments that called those fans immature.  What can you do?

Related articles

• Is This The Origin of The Knights of Ren?
• Disney teaser reveals a 'Last Jedi' spoiler
• Star Wars: The Last Jedi Rumors On John Boyega's Finn And First Order Super Star Destroyer
• Why These 'Revolutionary' '80s�Gadgets Totally�Failed

People who never grow up should never have lethal weapons

Secrets of the Jedi (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Lotsa new secrets coming soon!

When I first saw Star Wars:  The Force Awakens (and from now on, I'm calling it SW:TFA), there was a moment that stayed with me, mostly because I thought it was disgusting.  It's the scene where Kylo Ren returns to the interrogation room and finds that Rey is gone.  He throws a major-league, no-holds-barred tantrum, even using his lightsaber to bust up the joint.  Saturday afternoon, my sister Rebbie came into the room and started watching with me just as the scene where Rey tries out using the Force on her guard.  It works, and she escapes.  So, when the Kylo Ren scene started, I was watching Rebs and the screen at the same time (well, actually I kept looking at one then the other).  Here's the fun thing:  when he started to erupt, she winced and made the universal disgust face (which you can see on the Tomkins Institute website).  I had to laugh, and she wanted to know what was so funny.  "You should have seen your face," I told her.  She said, "well, I forgot that was going to happen right then.  Just like that brat I babysat that time, except this guy has a deadly weapon when he goes off."

to be continued . . .  

Related articles

• Lucasfilm Confirms Rey and Kylo Ren Are Linked By A Mysterious "Connection"
• The Last Jedi: Star Wars drops big clue about the meaning of title
• A major mystery of the new 'Star Wars' movie 'The Last Jedi' has been solved
• Box Office Flashback: February 13, 1997
• Lucasfilm Is Considering Options for Leia After Carrie Fisher's Death
• 23 incredible photos from Disney's 'Star Wars' cruise
• Here's Our First Look At Some STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI Toys
• In the New Star Wars Canon, Thrawn Learned About the Emperor From a Shocking Source
• Josh Gad Recruits Chris Pratt, J.J. Abrams and More to Get 'Star Wars' Spoilers From Daisy Ridley
• 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' Spoilers: Director Teases Opening Sequence On Instagram

Yes, there was a draft in there.

Comic on the quality of different methods of peer review (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We had our peer review for the draft of the lit review/definitions essay, and I got some good feedback (especially for the introduction:  I had forgotten to introduce the overall research project, so the rest of the draft didn't make much sense).  I was working on the revision this morning when I suddenly thought of this blog.  I was really shocked when I saw how few entries I had.

One thing that I should have blogged about happened last Saturday.  I usually have to work on Saturdays, but I put in 38 hours last week, so I couldn't have any more hours (if I hit 40, they'd have to give me benefits, etc.).  I worked on school stuff for a few hours, and then I decided to watch Star Wars:  The Force Awakens again.  I needed to settle on the scenes I'm going to use in the research paper.  I'll talk more about this in my next post.

Related articles

• 'Star Wars' Actor Ken Leung Joins 'Inhumans' as Karnak
• The 5 best Star Wars Lego sets coming this spring
• Star Wars' Mark Hamill tipped by J.J. Abrams to get Oscar for The Last Jedi
• This actor has taken over the R2-D2 role in the next 'Star Wars' movie
• Logan Director Explains Lack of Post-Credits Scene, Though It Should Be Obvious

What was I thinking?!!

Kylo Ren

Well, I guess I'm still a bit out of it.  I completely forgot that I had to do this, so now I have to catch up.  I can't believe it.  I managed to get my proposal (both the draft and the revision) completed, and I think it turned out pretty well.  I'll find out on Friday.
Anyway, the film I picked for my research project is Star Wars:  The Force Awakens, and my approach is shame theory.  When I first saw the movie, I was shocked when Kylo Ren threw a temper tantrum.  I think everyone in the theater was with me on that.  My first thought was "and that's why we don't let toddlers play with lethal weapons."  Which was silly.  After I read the page on shame theory in our packet, I realized that it explained why he did that. 
I've started on my research, and I'll have more on that later (today, if possible).

Related articles

• Star Wars: The Last Jedi: episode eight title revealed (telegraph.co.uk)
• 5 theories on what the new 'Star Wars' movie title may mean for 'Episode 8' (businessinsider.com)
• The Paradox of Humanising Star Wars' Stormtroopers (gizmodo.co.uk)
• Director Rian Johnson Shares 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' New Image (aceshowbiz.com)
• Could Snoke Be The Last Jedi? (slashfilm.com)

A Cooling Mess

Mixing an RPG with Match-3.

Please consider this an addition to my introduction, since I didn't cover much about myself last time.  The basic facts are in my profile, but I just realized that I haven't updated it for a while.  I live with my father and my older sister.  My mom died a couple of years ago, and from then until recently, I've been a hot mess:  I couldn't focus or concentrate on anything, and my grades dropped almost as low as they could go.  Lately I've been doing better.  Anyway, if you see me zone out for a bit in class, it's no big deal now.

On a less depressing note, one of my brothers got me hooked on a game last Thanksgiving, and I spent most of my free time over winter break playing it (Marvel Puzzle Quest--be warned, it's really addictive).  Maybe that's why I'm coming out of my funk.  Could video games be therapeutic?  My sister won't try it, which is too bad, not because she's depressed, but because I really want somebody who plays it to talk to and compare notes with.  

The rest of my life is pretty average/typical.

Related articles

• Superhero Bits: Life-Size Iron Man Suit, Supergirl and The Flash Midseason Trailers & More (slashfilm.com)
• Norwood police credit social media for arrest (bostonherald.com)

I'm back, and checking out the syllabus for my English class

To me, a community college student, this seems a bit excessive.
Student Union at Oklahoma State University - Stillwater, the largest student center in the world. Photo taken April 22, 2006. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I've just been on Blackboard, looking at the syllabus for English 102.  The first class is this coming Friday, and I wanted to get an idea of how much work this is going to be.  It looks like a lot-- six projects, including a research paper.  At least I've got the course schedule now, so I can do some planning, which I hope will help.  I'm really tired of falling behind and having to work on stuff for school in marathon sessions (bingeing on homework?  Not fun).  
The first project is a blog, so this one should work.  I hope it'll meet all the requirements.  I'll check back Monday to see if anything else is on the Blackboard for this class. 

Related articles (actually, just a few things I thought were interesting)

• Profs send letter to Pres. Obama requesting 'full neuropsychiatric evaluation' of Donald Trump (thecollegefix.com)
• Moon Knight (bjornpaige.wordpress.com)
• Texas High Schoolers Just Assassinated 'Donald Trump' in a School Skit, and Parents Are Enraged (ijr.com)
• Even Liberal Bubbles Don't Feel As Safe As The Used To (queerty.com)
• Vinyl records retain their magic (triblive.com)
• Malia Obama is going to Harvard next fall - here's where America's other 'first kids' went to college (businessinsider.com)
• When Worlds Collide: Seattle Colleges Host Homeless Camps (newsy.com)
• This is How Much Weight College Students Gain Over 4 Years (time.com)
• Andrew Cuomo makes a big call for free tuition at New York public colleges, with Bernie Sanders by his side (businessinsider.com)
• Graduate students say Harvard hindered vote to unionize (sfgate.com)

Hindsight is a Bummer

Bummer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well, I can't sleep.  As usual.  I was thinking about the next paper (last project, yay!), which is a very short essay to go with my portfolio.  For some reason (and no, that's not an invitation for everyone to analyze me), I have trouble writing anything at all complimentary about myself or anything I've done.  I'm supposed to be evaluating three of the projects:  the research proposal, the definitions essay, and the research paper (this one, I don't even want to think about, much less write about).  Now that I look at the proposal, which I wrote 12 weeks ago, I think it looks pretty bad.  I didn't have any grammar errors or anything like that, but my ideas seem kind of half-baked, considering what I actually did for the other projects.  It looked a lot better back when I wrote it.

Related articles 

• Problem and solution essay topics list WriteMyPaper io (strataflora.com)
• Columbia Business School Essay Topic Analysis 2016-2017 (clearadmit.com)
• Two To Go (yorkshiresoul.blogspot.com)
• Maps to Anywhere by Bernard Cooper (pagesofjulia.com)
• Essay - Writer . Info review: unbeatable agency to get papers instantly & with no trouble (worldhealthcareblog.org)
• Questlove Writes a Touching Personal Essay on Prince's Legacy (complex.com)
• HerStories Voices: Perspectives from the Woodpile (herstoriesproject.com)